Saturday, November 21, 2009

TV was better when I was a kid (Episode 2)

Sid and Marty Krofft Saturday Mornings

73-75 Sigmund and the Sea Monsters

A google eyed adolescent sea monster failing at sea monster life is exiled by his dysfunctional undersea family to the shore to prove he is sea monster worthy by scaring humans. Genius!

Two brothers, Johnny and Scott befriend Sigmund and the Hi-jinx begin as they try to keep a bumbling sea monster hidden from both their family and Sigmund's by hiding him in their clubhouse.

Kool-Aid and Super Sugar Crisp freak out at it's best!

74-76 Land of the Lost

The Rick Marshall and his children Will and Holly are somehow transported to a lost prehistoric era. While on a routine rafting expedition an earthquake (the greatest ever known) plunges them to a forgotten land merely 1000 feet below the earths surface.

In this untamed Land of the Lost they become the hunted while searching for a way back to modern civilization. They encounter dinosaurs, especially a T-Rex they affectionately name "Grumpy" who likes molest them in the cave they have made their home, they eat giant fruit and meet a cave humanoid named Chacka and most importantly they avoid their new found enemy the Sleastack.

Sleastacks were large humanoid half reptile half insect creatures with scaly green skin, unblinking google eyes, crab claw hands, tails, and a horn atop their heads. They communicated by hissing. Perhaps they were a prehistoric zombie saying only "BRAINZZZ"? I don't recall any real inflection denoting any emotion in the hissing.

They lived in a city underground and were able to create advanced tools like crossbows and rope. I believe they had a periscope type viewer in a couple of episodes even.

Sounds too good to be true doesn't it?

75-76 Far Out Space Nuts

Wait? Gilligan in Space? Far Out Space Nuts was a show about two NASA employees (Junior and Barney) who are inadvertently shot into space while loading provisions for an upcoming mission. When putting meals into their respective compartments Junior (Bob Denver) presses the button labeled LAUNCH instead of LUNCH. Why the geniuses at NASA would put the food buttons onto the main control panel was never really explained.

The two repeatedly have their lunar module captured by aliens and taken to another planet to encounter scary space creatures.

Along the way the do befriend an E.T. they cleverly name Honk because it communicates solely through a horn that sprouts from the top of it's head. Again Honk has buggy eyes. I am starting to see a theme here!

75-76 The Lost Saucer

Two time traveling robots accidentally kidnap a child and his babysitter setting off a series of time travel adventures.

The Robots, Fi (Ruth Buzzi) and Fum (Jim Nabors) land on earth and invite a child and his babysitter onto their time traveling flying saucer to just have a look around. When a group of people gather to check out this curious contraption the Fi and Fum panic and take off.

OF course the controls are broken, the two robot comically bicker constantly and along the way they encounter mysterious lands and weird aliens and monsters.

Oh ya, they also have a weird foam companion named Dorse. Half Dog and...that's right half horse. Really just a man hopping around in a giant grey fur dog suit with a tiny brown horse head attached. Sorry I couldn't find a decent picture but I think you get the idea from the screen capture.

76-78 The Krofft Supershow

Running three seasons this show was the final Saturday program from the Kroffts that I can or care to recall.

The Supershow was basically a variety show consisting of 12 to 15 minute episodic shows and musical numbers by Captain Kool and the Kongs. A glam rock band in the first season then toned down in season two akin to the Osmonds.

After a network change the Captain and his Kongs were replace by The Bay City Rollers.

I am going to focus on the episodes because I somehow have blocked out the music portion of the show.

Dr Shrinker

Three teenagers survive a plane crash on an island inhabited by an evil Doctor and his assistant, Hugo. The aptly named doctor created a shrink gun and after meeting the teens shrinks them to prove it works. The teens escape through a crack in the wall and spend the rest of their scheming on how to get un-shrunk while avoiding the evil Shrinker who needs the three to prove to the world he isn't a hack.

The show has a plot much like The Smurfs. Dr Shrinker is Gargamel but instead of the cat Azrael he has a dwarf named Hugo (Billy Barty) as a companion.

Electra Woman and Dyna Girl

A female caped crusader named Electra Woman (Deidre Hall) and her young sidekick Dyna Girl. Just two regular old magazine reporters that turn into sexy crime fighters in an "Electra-Change" flash of light.

They would cruise around in the "Electracar" and use various technologically advanced tools to thwart weird super villains assisted by Frank Heflin, a scientist that lives in the "Electrabase". He communicated with them through the "ElectraComps", a wrist worn device that transmitted two-way video and sound.

Who cares about the plot though, Electrawoman and Dyna Girl were HOT!


Three teens drive around in a living breathing talking old, beat up, jalopy dune buggy affectionately named Schlepcar To defend against wrong doing ole Schleppy transformed into a shiny metal-flaked orange living breathing crime fighting machine. When his magic horn was honked he would assist in the trio's battles against crooks and other vile sort.

Imagine Night Rider meets The Love Bug meets Speed Buggy meets Scooby Doo.

Magic Mongo

Three teens find a bottle that just so happens to be the home of a genie. The Zany adventures of the teens and their new friend Mongo revolved around the Genie unintentionally using his powers to get the gang into trouble, then out, while avoiding the no good deviance of Ace and Duncey a malicious pair of hooligans.

Bigfoot And Wildboy

Cue the funky guitar intro...Out of the Great Northwest comes the Legendary Bigfoot who eight years ago saved a young child lost in the vast wilderness and raised that child until he grew up to be Wildboy.

Wildboy and Bigfoot roamed the countryside stomping out pollution, capturing diabolical villains, and rescuing those in distress.

This show was only on the Supershow for eight episodes split into two 15 minute episodes each but it quickly became its own ABC series and another twelve 30 minute episodes were shot.

There were also 5 episodes of The Six Million Dollar Man that Bigfoot made appearances in. On that show Bigfoot was the protector of aliens from outer space.

Another reason I think the TV I watched as a kid is better than what you watch now.

Mentioned in this post:

New trading card set.

I stumbled on a new set of trading cards while researching my next TV was better when I was a kid post. I found these amusing trading card sets over at Donald Mills "The Problem With Young People Today Is...". They are similar to some ideas I had for cards I made while I was learning how to use Photoshop. They are brilliant, go check 'em out and read a bit of his blog, it's good for some laughs.

Set One Set Two

Thursday, November 19, 2009

TV was better when I was a kid (Episode 1)

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century was a science fiction adventure television series that ran for two seasons between 1979 - 1981 on NBC. It's premise was that Captain William Anthony "Buck" Rogers (Gil Gerard) a NASA pilot who commands the space shuttle Ranger 3 launched in May 1987 and is cryogenically frozen for 504 years returns to Earth after his derelict spacecraft is discovered in the year 2491. The thing is the Earth was rebuilt following a nuclear war on November 22, 1987 and is now under the protection of the Earth Defense Directorate.

Now, this is why I think this TV show is better than anything you watch now:

Captain Rogers friend and romantic interest Colonel Wilma Deering, played by Erin Gray. Whats not to like except the annoying robot sidekick Twiki and...

...the chief villain Princess Ardala (Pamela Hensley) whose main objective was to conquer the Earth, and secondary objective was making Buck her boy toy.

Oh yeah, how about Gary Coleman as Hieronymous Fox "The Cosmic Whiz Kid"?

If you still are not convinced go check out full episodes on especially the episode Cruise Ship to the Stars. Miss Cosmo is out of this world.

*Much love to Justin over at Siempre La Luna for Spaceman Love Tang inspiration.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Golly... you got mashed potatoes?

I want to know where the punk rock split 7" is for this?

A-side: The Frogtown Hollow Jubilee Jug Band "Barbecue" w/the B-side Riverbottom Nightmare Band "The Nightmare"

I picture the Hallowed Ground era Violent Femmes doing "Barbecue" and Big Business doing "The Nightmare".

The Violent Femmes had that whole gospel/country type thing down on that album.

Big Business partly because they cover "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper and "The Nightmare" just smacks of Alice Cooper.

Everybody Sing!


The Serpent is Rising

from wikipedia: The band considers this to be their worst recording. Dennis DeYoung has gone far as saying it was "one of the worst recorded and produced in the history of music."

For your listening pleasure I have posted the lyrics below so you too can sing along!

Plexiglass Toilet
(J. Curulewski)

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Everybody Sing!

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah